Cryin' For Us
by SVUCSIWTRDOOLluver
Summary: Kinda based off of Toby Keith's song "Cryin' For Me", so a major character death! The team finds out about Harris assaulting Olivia, and when someone tries to comfort her, Harris kills him. Chapter 3 up, R&R and enjoy!
1. She Could Refuse Anyone, But Him

Just a fair warning: this could be considered a tearjerker, as it does contain a major character death. I hope you enjoy, though! It starts off with everyone finding out about Olivia's assault in Sealview, but that just leads up to how the character gets to Olivia's apartment and then gets killed.

--

Olivia stumbled into her apartment, almost crying from the scene that replayed over and over in her mind. She was in the stationhouse, and the only person who knew what had happened to her came striding in. Carolyn, the only person she had told of her assault beside her therapist, had come striding into the stationhouse, slapped her and said hysterically, "I don't know how you stand living with the memory of being assaulted. I don't think I can."

After she ran out in tears, Olivia stood there in shock, staring back at Elliot, Munch, Fin, Cragen and Casey. They were staring at her with the same expression of shock, but before any of them could say a word she strode from the room, hiding the tears streaming from her eyes. She was ashamed for a reason she couldn't explain. To be honest, she hadn't expected to be forced to tell her friends and colleagues about her assault.

She slammed the door and collapsed onto her bed, staring at the window and drew her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around her legs. A soft knock broke the cold silence, and a fatherly voice said "Olivia?"

She could refuse anyone but him. Slowly she opened the door, and there stood Cragen, tears in his own eyes. "Why didn't you tell me?" He asked softly, and Olivia broke down, tears sliding down her cheeks as she covered her face. Don wordlessly pulled her into his arms, pressing his lips against her forehead and whispering, "It's gonna be okay, Olivia, I'm here,"

It broke Don's heart to see the woman he still considered to be his little girl break emotionally right in front of him. That only happened when something extremely bad happened. They stood in the doorway as Olivia's sob slowed and she murmured, "I don't know why I didn't tell you, Don. I'm so sor-"

"Don't say you're sorry," He whispered, and she pulled back. He wiped her tears, and she smiled gently at him. He returned the smile, and suddenly a footstep was heard from behind them. Don whirled around and a sharp BANG split the air. Don's smile melted into a grimace of pain, and he slowly started to collapse. Olivia supported him and slowly laid him on the ground, her hand pulling her gun and aiming it at the person who had shot him.

It was none other than Harris, the devil from her nightmares.

"You bastard, what have you done!?" She screamed, her gun aiming straight at his heart. Harris grinned evilly, and said,

"He was in the way of me finishing what I started, and then shooting you."

"You're not gonna get the chance," She growled, as he started to pull the trigger. She pulled hers faster, and her bullet flew into his heart, if he even had one. As he fell, she shot him again, and again, and again before he fell , dead before he hit the ground.

"Don!" Olivia shouted, kneeling by his side and pulling her phone to dial dispatch. "This is Detective Benson, I've got a man down, I repeat man down, 1352 Belgaum Street, apartment 23,"

"Copy that Detective," dispatch crackled back, and Don's shaking hand lifted up and his lips parted to whisper,

"Liv,"

She grasped his hand, fighting back tears as she covered his wound with her other hand. "You're gonna be okay, Don, you have to be," She muttered, grabbing her coat and trying to stop the bleeding. Don closed his eyes and she said hurriedly, "Keep your eyes open, Don, you gotta keep your eyes open," With a groan he dragged his eyes open, and blinked a few times.

He coughed a few times, and drops of blood spewed up. "Oh God no," Olivia muttered, knowing that there was blood in his lungs now.

"You'll, you'll be okay, Olivia," Cragen rasped, and Olivia said urgently,

"Just keep breathing! Keep breathing!"

Sirens could be heard in the background, and Olivia almost cried with relief. "Help's coming, Don, you'll be okay,"

"I, I lived my life, Olivia, you gotta let me go,"

"No, I won't! Please, Don, don't make me, don't make me let you go," Olivia said vehemently, and Don wet his lips, saying faintly,

"Always, thought of you, daughter. Love you, Liv,"

"I love you, Don! You were always like a father to me, always! Don't leave me," She pleaded, tears overflowing from her eyes.

"I see, Marge, Liv, I'll be okay, good, bye," He murmured, and his eyes fluttered close.

Olivia sat there for a long moment, refusing to believe it. "No!" She screamed as paramedics ran in through the door. They started to check her, but she shoved them away, lurching to her feet and saying blankly, "They're both dead. I'm fine, it's not my blood."

She stumbled out of her door, and when she got to the stairs, she saw Elliot, Fin, Munch and Casey standing there. Olivia stared down at them, and Elliot took the stairs three at a time to get to her, saying, "Are you okay?"

"No," She said hollowly, and spread her hands, looking at the blood and saying, "It's Don's. He, he's gone. And it's all my fault." She turned around and strode back to her apartment, leaving the other to wonder in shock about what she meant.

--

An hour later, after Olivia had been processed and was wearing new clothes, the detectives were finally allowed to see the scene, with Don Cragen's body still lying there in his own pool of blood. Casey immediately lost it, sobs ripping from her throat and Munch pulled her into his arms, tears slipping down his face. Fin stared at Cragen stonily until someone walked in, gasping and saying, "Oh my God," They all looked and saw Alex Cabot standing there, her hands over her mouth and tears glistening in her eyes. Fin walked over to her, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and she buried her face into his chest. Elliot's gaze went back to Cragen's body, and then up to Olivia's face.

"He was the one who assaulted you, wasn't he." Elliot stated, and Olivia nodded miserably.

"if I had stopped him, he wouldn't have come and shot Cragen," She replied softly, and Elliot touched her arm until she looked up at him.

"He wouldn't have blamed you, Liv. I'm sure he still doesn't." He said quietly, and Olivia held her tears back as she slipped her arms around his waist. He let his head rest on her shoulder, his eyes on Cragen's closed ones.

The squad stood there for a long time, each grieving in their own way, but Elliot and Olivia didn't shed a tear. After an hour, Olivia linked arms with Alex and Casey and they walked out, followed by Elliot, Fin and Munch. They were wordlessly going to their favorite bar as Melinda came running up, having just been informed by the Chief.

"Is it…is he…" She started to say, and when Olivia nodded, she closed her eyes titled her head back and her shoulders shook from silent sobs. Olivia, Alex and Casey pulled her into a group hug, which they pulled Elliot, Fin and Munch into. It was an unusual sight, a group of serious SVU detectives, ADA's and a ME group hugging on the side of a street, but none of them cared. They had lost the head of their group, the glue that held them all together at the toughest times, and they needed to grieve over the fact that he was now gone.

--

That's not the end, I promise! I'm working on some more chapters, but I can just leave it like that if you think that'd be better. Let me know, either way! Thanks so much, and thanks for reading! Adios!


	2. Supporting Each Other That's All

Chapter 2 is up!!! This chapter is basically the squad dealing with the raw loss of Captain Don Cragen, definite Elliot/Olivia, Munch/Casey, Fin/Alex and Melinda/Mark (name I made up for her husband). I've always liked Munch/Casey and I had to put Alex in here, so I put her with Fin. Hope you enjoy!

--

The squad was sitting at a table at their favorite bar, and they were drinking in silence, or in a low murmur of conversation. Elliot downed a few shots, and then started sipping a beer, suddenly saying to Olivia, "How's it your fault?"

Olivia's blank stare had him repeating his question, staring her in the eyes. "How's it your fault?"

She hung her head in shame, whispering, "If I had stopped Harris from assaulting me, he wouldn't have come after me. Don wouldn't have been at my apartment, and he wouldn't be lying cold on a slab in the morgue." Her voice hardened with held-back tears, and Elliot replied roughly,

"It's not your fault. He's probably happier, being rid of us troublemakers. He's happy with Marge up there, he's not on a slab in the morgue, you know that right?"

"I guess," Olivia murmured, downing her shot. "I still feel so guilty. I couldn't save him, no matter what I did. And then he said I was always like a daughter to him. He loved me, El, and then I let him leave me." She added, covering her eyes and forcing back the tears. Elliot's warm hand rubbed her back gently and he said hollowly,

"I'm sure he didn't want to leave you, Liv. He knew you loved him, and that must've been enough for him to die in peace, and he didn't die alone."

"We're all alone in the end." She said harshly, and he moved his hand from her back to her hand, and when she looked at him, he replied,

"You're not alone. Neither am I."

She nodded, and he stood up, tossing down a bill to cover his drinks. She did the same as he muttered, "Let's get outta here," Olivia nodded and they said their goodbyes. Casey, Alex and Melinda all assured Olivia they'd get together for lunch the next day, as it was Saturday.

Elliot walked out with Olivia, his hand going protectively to the small of her back as an obviously drunk man leered at her. She ignored him, but Elliot gave him a look that had him scurrying away. Elliot opened the passenger side door for Olivia, and she climbed in, shooting Elliot a small smile. He had a small flashback to when he was in the very same parking lot, but not in the same spot, kissing Dani more than once.

He had the same urge to kiss Olivia, but take it much further than he ever intended to take it with Dani.

Instead, he climbed in the driver's side and started to car, going to his apartment without any conversation. Olivia's apartment was obviously still a crime scene, and she would need a place to stay. It was their silent communication, Elliot offered and Olivia was hesitant to accept, but she had no choice.

Olivia had packed a bag of clothes, and she grabbed it before Elliot could. He just frowned, but amusement flickered in his miserable eyes before he led the way to his third floor apartment, 3 – A. Elliot swiped Olivia's bag and tossed it onto the guest bedroom bed and went back to the living room. Olivia was standing with her back to him, his arms wrapped around her torso.

Silently he wrapped his arms around her shoulders, knowing they both needed support. At least, that's what he told himself when she turned around and kissed him desperately. That's what he told himself when he responded in kind. That's what she told herself when he swung her into his arms and they stumbled towards the bedroom. That's what she told herself as the door closed and they fell onto the bed together.

They were supporting each other. That's all.

--

After Elliot and Olivia left, Casey rose with a world-weary look on her face. Munch offered to take her home, since she came with Melinda. Alex had brought her own car, and Fin and rode with Munch, so she offered to take him home. Melinda was the next to leave, going home to her husband. Alex and Fin sat there for a while, and Fin said quietly, "I'm glad you came back, Alex."

A small smile worked it's way onto her face. "Me too." She said quietly, and their hands intertwined under the table. They had quietly begun seeing each other before Alex had been shot, and they had kept in touch, though it was against witness protection rules.

"You think we can make this work?" She questioned uncertainly, and he stood, downing his whiskey and throwing down a bill.

"Want to find out?" He answered her question with another question. He offered her his hand, and she took it with a small confident smile.

"Good idea." She replied as he pulled her up. She slipped her arm around his waist and he put his arm around her shoulders as they walked out together. He kissed her temple just as they got to his car, and she stood on her tiptoes, kissing him full on the lips. They fell gently against the side of the car, not really caring who saw at that moment.

Neither of them remembered how they got to Fin's apartment, they just knew that when they got there, they had stopped kissing, and Fin simply took her hand and pulled her to his bedroom. "I love you, Alex," He whispered as he kissed her sweetly. A few tears leaked from her eyes and he softly kissed them away as she murmured,

"I love you too, Fin,"

He pressed his forehead to hers and closed his eyes for a long moment while Alex caressed his cheek softly. When her lips touched his, his eyes snapped open and darkened as they fell onto the bed, him rolling on top of her and never breaking their kiss.

--

John was driving along to Casey's apartment, and he kept glancing over at her, slightly worried. Her expression was totally blank, but every so often a grimace of pain and loss would cross her face and it scared John for some unknown reason. Maybe because he felt the same pain and loss.

Casey slipped out of John's car when they pulled up to her apartment building, and she gazed at him, saying quietly, "Don't leave me, please?" She phrased it as a question, but it might as well have been a statement or an order, because he wasn't going to refuse her.

He never could.

With a nod he shut the car down and hopped out, taking Casey's hand as she led the way up to her apartment. Every so often he'd squeeze her hand, and she'd look back at him with a tender expression on her face, letting him know something that words couldn't express: they weren't alone.

He faintly remembered Elliot saying something like that to Olivia earlier, and it seemed to fit perfectly.

Casey opened the door to her apartment, and just as she stepped inside, John closed the door and pulled her into his arms before she could turn the lights off. His lips brushed hers softly, and she pressed her lips to his firmly, her hands sliding to the back of his neck and his head, pulling him down to her and kissing him deeply.

John somehow found his way to the bedroom, guided by Casey as neither of them broke the kiss, fearing that the other would suddenly disappear if they did. John kicked the door shut as he felt himself being turned around, and falling through the dark air. His back hit the bed, and Casey's body molded to his.

"Don't, don't go," She gasped as he kissed her thoroughly.

"I won't," He assured in a low voice, and she pressed her lips to his, silencing any more words.

--

Melinda opened the door to her house and felt the tears slide down her cheeks. Her gaze went from the floor to the man standing in front of her. She stumbled towards him, and his strong arms reached out and caught her, crushing her to him.

"He's, he's gone, Mark, he's just, gone," She whispered brokenly, and he kissed her hair, swinging her into his arms like a baby and murmuring,

"It's gonna be okay, Mel, you're gonna be all right,"

She clutched as his shirt as she let the tears flow, soaking his shirt, but he didn't care as he held her tightly. Slowly they walked to the bedroom and he pulled her down onto the bed, cradling her close and rocking her, murmuring comforting words as she let herself break down.

--

They were all broken. They had lost their glue.

--

I tried to not make it too OOC, so I hope I did an OK job, at least! Definitely more to come, I'll update as soon as I can! Thanks so much for reading, and I hope you liked it!!!


	3. Blame Doesn't Bring Him Back

Chapter 3 is up! I promise, I'm not trying to make you cry, and this chapter starts off with the girls having lunch together, and the guys meeting at Elliot's apartment, sharing memories, and then they all get together and start to plan Don's funeral *sobs*. Thanks for reading, enjoy! 

Melinda sat at the girl's booth in Caffeine and Gossip, a hole-in-the-wall coffee shop in northern Manhattan. She stirred the cup of black coffee with two sugars while waiting for the other 3. She didn't have to wait long, as Casey strode through the door, scanning for a familiar face. Alex followed soon after, and they waited for Olivia to arrive. She finally did, slipping in through the door, the dark circles under her eyes the tell-tale sign that she barely got any sleep.

"Hey," Casey said quietly, getting to her feet and pulling Olivia into a hug. Melinda and Alex got up and Olivia hugged both of them.

"You hanging in there?" Melinda asked quietly, and Olivia blew out a breath as she sat down, muttering,

"Barely."

Olivia took a searing gulp of the coffee that was sitting on the table in front of her, and she looked up, saying, "I got a call from the Chief this morning, on my cell,"

"Me too," Casey and Alex said in unison, and Melinda nodded.

"He was very apologetic and sad, said he knew Don and worked with him many times," Alex added, twirling her spoon in her coffee.

"I almost told him to go to hell, because he took Don away from his job more times than I'd care to remember," Casey said bitterly, and Olivia muttered,

"Yeah, most of those were my fault,"

"I'd say Elliot's, mostly," Melinda spoke up softly, and half-hearted smiles flashed on their grief-stricken faces.

"He said something about Don having a full cop's funeral, escort, 21 gun salute, the whole works," Olivia sighed, trying to change the subject.

"Yeah, and he said all he needed was a date and time and he'd take care of the rest." Alex replied.

"I think we should take care of it ourselves," Casey stated, and Olivia squeezed her shoulder, agreeing.

"Yes, we should," Melinda said quietly, and the four women fell silent.

"Well, for a Saturday don't you all just look so happy?" Their permanent waitress, Donna said cheerfully as she stood in front of their booth.

"Haven't you read the newspaper?" Alex asked listlessly, and when Donna shook her head, Casey tossed her the front page.

"Manhattan SVU Captain Killed in Detective's Apartment" She read off the headline, and scanned the article. She saw Olivia Benson's name, and gasped quietly. "Oh my God, I'm so sorry," She whispered, pressing her hand against her mouth.

"Us too," Melinda said quietly, and Donna put her hand on Olivia's shoulder, asking,

"Will you let me know when the funeral is?"

"Sure," Olivia said, trying to smile at the waitress, but it was more of a grimace.

"Thanks. Hang in there, all of you," Donna said softly and walked back to the kitchen, still clutching the newspaper.

Elliot woke that morning, looking over and seeing that Olivia was gone. He sighed, knowing she, Casey, Alex and Melinda had a lunch date planned. With a groan he remembered that he was supposed to meet Fin, Munch and George at their favorite lunch bar.

He rolled out of bed, took a quick shower and tossed on some clothes, grateful it was Saturday. When he pulled up to the bar, he saw George getting out of his car. "Elliot!" George called, striding over to him.

"Please, don't try to shrink me today," Elliot muttered, just loud enough for George to hear. He grimaced, saying,

"I won't, promise. Just wanted to say that I'm sorry for your loss,"

"I'm sorrier." Elliot stated, but shot a look over at George, saying, "Thanks, though," George just nodded and they walked in together, seeing Fin and Munch already at the bar.

Elliot eased into a chair next to Munch and ordered a Coke. He swore to himself that he wasn't going to drink himself out of his misery; Don wouldn't have wanted that at all.

"You look like hell." Munch said bluntly, and Fin spoke up,

"We all look like hell, John,"

"Especially you, Munch," Elliot shot back, and George just ordered water for himself.

"So who enjoyed their crap call from the Chief?" Munch inquired, deftly switching topics.

"I almost told him to buck off, that we were doing Don's funeral, but I figured that'd better be a group decision, including Olivia, Casey, Alex and Melinda," Fin said with a raised brow. Elliot, George and Munch all nodded, and George said,

"We could possibly plan it out on Monday, at work,"

"No. Today." Elliot said firmly, not wanting Don's body to stay on a slab in the morgue for long.

Fin nodded, and questioned, "You don't think Melinda will do the autopsy, do you?"

"You'd have to ask her. If I were her, I wouldn't be able to." George said quietly, and when the others looked at him, he said, "Just because I seem to be objective, doesn't mean I always am."

Elliot nodded and leaned forward with a small smile. "Kinda nice to know even the shrink has some emotions,"

George just rolled his eyes, and Munch spoke up, "If we're gonna plan the, funeral, today, where are we all going to meet?"

"My apartment?" Elliot offered, gulping at his Coke.

"Isn't Olivia staying with you?" Fin questioned, and Elliot nodded, saying,

"I can call her and ask her if she'd mind," Elliot said sarcastically, and Fin shrugged, saying,

"Just thought she'd like some privacy. She was the one who watched Cragen die. The hardest part for her probably is the fact that she couldn't do anything but shoot the bastard who fired into him."

Munch nodded, gulping down the rest of his drink. "What time?" He asked, and Elliot thought for a moment before saying,

"About 4? We can order pizza or something."

"Sounds like a damn party." Fin muttered, tossing some money down and striding out. Munch blew out a breath, saying,

"I'll be there." He walked out, and Elliot followed soon after, after George said he'd be at Elliot's apartment around 4.

When Elliot slipped into his apartment, barely remembering how he got there, there was a heartbreaking sound filling the silence. The sound of Olivia's sobbing rang in Elliot's ears and he followed the sound to his bedroom. Olivia was lying, curled up in a ball in the middle of the bed. Her frame wracked with sobs, and her hands were clutching her sides while her face was buried in a pillow.

"Oh, Liv," He breathed, climbing on the bed and gently grabbing a hold of her shoulders.

"No, go away," Olivia sobbed desperately, her hands shoving on Elliot's chest.

"I'm not going anywhere." He stated, and Olivia shoved one last time and then scrambled to her feet. Before she took 5 steps out of the bedroom, Elliot caught her by the waist and pulled her into his chest. "I'm not going away," He breathed, and Olivia's fists slowly stopped beating on his chest.

He supported her with one arm and kept the other hand pressing her head into his chest as she bawled onto his shirt, her hands now clutching his shirt with a death grip. "My fault," Elliot heard her mumble over and over.

Slowly he led her to the bed and lay down, drawing her into his arms tightly. "Nothing about this situation is your fault. Please, Liv, believe me, nothing is your fault."

"But it is." She muttered in a whisper, turning her pleading eyes onto Elliot's agonized ones.

"Blame does nothing, Liv, it doesn't bring him back." Elliot whispered urgently, pressing his forehead to hers, desperate to make her understand. With a slow nod, she closed her eyes and let the tears flow, mixing with Elliot's as they just held each other.

End of another sad chapter! I'm going to try and get the squad to start planning Don's funeral in the next chapter, and I'm thinking about having Olivia sneak away to visit Don's body in the morgue, and to make sure Harris is really dead. I hope you enjoyed, and I'm terribly sorry about the wait! Adios for now!


End file.
